Regula Borel 30.9.49 - 15.12.92
Dear Regula, You have left us and it is probably for the best. You have been in so much pain lately. Every time we thought the suffering was over on one side, it reappeared somewhere else. You were very brave and only if we insisted did you admit that you had intolerable pain at times. We know that we must not be selfish. But right now, many of us are moving from one thing to another because we have to live. The heart is not in it. Yesterday, at the Migros, I saw that the smoked and salted almonds for which you had an irrepressible passion were at reduced price. My first instinct was to reach for the box.
So many memories come flooding back. The vacation in Italy two and a half years ago when you were doing so well. We walked for hours in Pisa, Rome, Lucca and Florence. In this city, you were shooting the monuments with your camera, amazed that you could take so many pictures with a 24 exposures film. Back home, you discovered that you had no film at all! There was also that daring visit to a jeans store to buy those pants you had been dreaming of, worried about your son's reaction.
For a long time, we didn't know each other very well. It was Zig-Zag that brought us together. Our somewhat technical phone calls gradually became longer. We started talking about other things.
And then there was that fateful Sunday in August 1988 when Serge died suddenly. I will never forget the 400 people in the dining room silently praying as the doctors took turns reviving him.
Six months later, you invited us, your "full-time" friends, to a retreat. You were afraid that, as good Swiss, we would grit our teeth and decide to go ahead and do a little more than before." What is God trying to teach us through certain difficulties?" We were still looking for answers to this question when Jean-Denis and Sylviane's dear aunt Marie-Claude became ill and continued to be courageous and interested in people until the end.
A short time later, you told us that you,too, were ill,and that it was serious. We each reacted in our own way. The rebellious, of which I was one, grabbed the Lord and asked him what he means. Others suggested praying for healing, or inner peace.
You go through ups and downs but you are peaceful. Your only real concern is to find those who will welcome Jean-Denis and Sylviane when the time comes. We have all searched and prayed. And because you couldn't find them, you left this question aside, trusting that the solution would present itself. And you were right. Some distant cousins in Sion, the Borel family, spontaneously offered to take in the children, thus increasing their family to seven. You liked each other right away and you were able to relax.
You never let the illness stop you. As soon as you got a little better, you went back to the parish of La Tour-de-Peilz where you were the secretary, or to Caux to do this work too.
And the conviction grew in you that the time had come to gather again at Delemont for a retreat. You wrote to us: "I would like us to go there with empty hands and empty agendas, so that we can let the Holy Spirit act. The theme that I would like to address in depth is that of love. Does it take the place it should have in our lives as a team, what causes us to lose it, and how do we find it again?" Again, you were concerned about what makes up the fabric of our lives. You wanted to make sure that our shared responsibilities never became excuses for not healing our relationships, healing our differences.
Regula, there is so much more to say. You were such a valuable colleague to me (and others of course) at the Foundation. You had a knack for following things up, making sure decisions were implemented, and fighting for transparency.
"What is God trying to teach us through some of the difficulties?" The question is more acute than ever. I lost my rebellion, and I could tell you that. But otherwise, this kind of learning is not like learning German! It's inside, you don't see what happened until much later. In the meantime, I have expanded my family. Because of your illness, I brought in Serge's sister, Christiane Bonhôte and her husband Olivier. And your sister Barbara, who with Anne-Katherine Gilomen watched over you until the end. Your mother too, who became so close to us. As for Monika, we started to get to know each other better in the mountains, when we were together with you and the children. You were not well and Monika and I shared the same room. Like two teenagers, we talked until late at night.
Tomorrow we will accompany you again, but you are already in that mysterious beyond, in peace. As we have written to all your friends abroad: "As we prepare to welcome the baby Jesus into our hearts and homes, we think of Regula's joyful arrival home on the other side, and the welcome she will receive from so many who loved her and whom she loved.
"We are many who have loved you very much on this side too. Don't blame us if the atmosphere here is not very happy right now. Even if we think with infinite gratitude of all that you have been for us, for me. Eliane
French
